“A man’s chief delusion is the conviction that there are causes order than his own state of consciousness”
– Bob Proctor
31st December 2016 is still a blur. I cannot quite remember the events that took place on that day but I definitely remember the emotions that I felt. All I wanted that day was for 2016 to come to an end. I didn’t care for the new year; I just wanted 2016 to crawl into eternity and never show up again. And yes, wanting a year to come to an end and being eager for the next can be two unrelated things. When it struck 12.00 midnight, I cried profusely in relief and I knew that I did not want to feel that way about 2017.
Last year was the most grating year in which I had proprietary claims over most of the challenges that I faced. Before this time, most of the hard times I had faced either stemmed from family-related issues that certainly didn’t have to sit on my shoulders alone or turned out to be personal problems that I could solve without rocking my boat. I thrive amidst challenges so I would seldom tag one a “problem” unless it was grave. However last year, I dealt with the most intense situations that I had ever faced in both my personal and professional lives.
In that one year, I was stretched in ways I could not believe and tasted life in the most exotic flavors I had come to know. This was in itself, a beautiful thing but things somehow spiraled out of my control and I soon began to amass failed outcomes in a lot of areas. I have always set and lived up to high standards that I set for myself and so in the face of erratic outcomes, I was thrown off balance. My tussle to stay on top of things led me to a whole new level of decision making and kick-started patterns that I had been subconsciously conditioned to set in motion during times like this. So, all hell broke loose.
By the end of the year, I was choking on aspirations, unexecuted commitments (to both myself and other people), toxic emotions and a desperate need for redemption. Somehow, I managed to keep my professional life fairly above the storm (I’ll address how and why as we progress in the series) but other aspects of my life were the opportunity cost.
It’s almost a year later and unimaginable things have happened. I have sacrificed self, time, financial resources and even some relationships to pursue personal transformation and development and raise my level of consciousness. In the last 11 months, I have quit my job, read tens of books, consumed over 130 transformational multimedia resources, written a memoir (don’t wait for it to get published just yet), volunteered, evolved alongside my aspirations, gone on a social media cleanse and spent an insane amount of money on training and coaching programs. I have inspired myself, disappointed myself, broken myself into jigsaw pieces and spent late nights trying to create “the dream” from this pieces.
Right now, I can say that I have grown and learned a lot about my truth but the fact is that growth doesn’t always resemble what you envisage it to be. I am owning my truth and now feel more responsible for my reality. Like my mentor says, “clarity messes you up”; clarity and the pursuit of purpose aren’t just the romantic reasons that you list when asked why you attended a self-help seminar. They are terrifying responsibilities but they are infinitely rewarding. Frankly, I am still adjusting to exploring myself in the way that I am right now and silence has served me better than it ever has in my decades of living. However, I have had the privilege of interacting with incredibly bright minds this year and I can say that there is more commonality in humanity than we know. In more ways than makes sense, our journeys, as people, are alike and we are all seeking self-actualization in increasingly complex and dynamic societies. So as this new year comes to an end, I am bursting with a sense of responsibility that nudges me to share what I now call “the journey to the centre of myself” even though it’s a never ending one.
The beauty of this is that even though I will disperse what I know in the context of my own experiences and probably draw from those of people that I’ve interacted with, the essence of it all lies in principles, mindsets and approaches to life as we know it. We will talk about a plethora of things that, even though are not technical, will span across diverse facets of life including business and career.
If we’re going to have this conversation, then we’ll have to do it right. This means that I am going to endeavor to be as honest as possible and because this is a series, we will have the luxury of having a multi-dimensional approach to issues that are relevant to our journeys especially as young, inspired people hustling for positive change. Articulating some issues might get a tad uneasy and for you – following the series – dealing with some realizations might be rocky but I’ve learned that you can’t relate with your truth based on the level of ease that it affords you. These pieces of yourself that you might find, will form building blocks that will open you up to the real work – living intentionally and owning your truth. I hope that with this series, I’ll be able to pass on the torch that has set me one on of the most rewarding paths ever.
So grab your tickets guys, it’s time for the homecoming!
P.S: This is not a motivational series so stay home if that’s what’s you’re after. This is not also a tell-all reality show in print. This is intended to be an expository journey for people seeking to learn from another’s experiences to raise consciousness regarding life issues common to us.
Disclaimer: I am not a certified neurolinguistic programmer or psychologist. So as far as professional psychotherapy is concerned, manage your expectations wisely.